The Friendster Chronicles
Okay, I joined this damn thing because I wanted to know how my friends are connected to each other. I'd really like to see it incorporated into LJ, but failing that, I thought it would be clever to invite everyone I know from LJ to join this service, so I can finally make sense of the incestuous tangle of relationships there.

Then I remembered, oh wait! I don't actually like people!



I signed up for this because it looked like a cool Internet toy. And while most people use it to find connections, I was using it as an early warning system. I have three or four people in my life who function as "nodes of lameness," and I wanted an early warning, in case "clever girl #6" was actually connected to one of them.

All too often, I've started a conversation with someone, thinking they were normal, only to realize they are part of this incestuous tangle of post-objectivist scary people. Of course, some of those post-objectivist scary people are fun. And some of them have become functioning members of society. But I like the early warning idea, in case one of my new friends is a little too cozy with a bad seed.

I've been trolling the gallery, looking for people who are NOT immediately connected to my present circles. Kind of using Friendster in reverse, as it were.

My personal network has been skewed by two people who are essentially cooler than I am. Kai and Michelle are connected to all kinds of Austin hipsters, and these people are so cool, they make my teeth hurt.

If I see another Austin socialite who lists Dostoyevsky and The Cure, I may have to shoot myself in the head.

This is the first Internet group I've encountered where the baseline recruit is actually cooler than me. I've seen at least 60 people with outrageous piercings, dirty hair, and an interest list full of industrial music.

Two main types dominate friendster: Semi-literate party animals who post pretty pictures and describe themselves in sentence fragments, and pretentious hipster geeks who list authors they read in English class and write screeds about how much they hate TV.

I have lost count of people who use their profile space to denounce television. My favorite specimen is the type who lists six favorite television programs and says, "But I only watch them on DVD." Like it's cool to be three seasons behind.

I don't know about you guys, but I don't need a bunch of Internet addicts telling me how evil TV is. I've been addicted to both mediums in my lifetime, and I'd say it's a tie.

I was reviewing my own habits, and I realized that I don't actually watch TV anymore. I listen to TV while my eyes are glued to this thing -- playing videogames, surfing the web, and combing friendster for people who do the same thing.

So why am I doing this, after two years of severing connections online? Because today is the last day of my "vacation." New job starts tomorrow, and I simply won't have time to hang out online anymore. Not as much time, anyway.

My job will require regular hours and mandatory overtime. I also have half a dozen personal friends at this place, and I hope we will be hanging out after work.

So, I decided to have one last orgy of online activity, before I begin my life as a corporate drone.

So, should you join friendster? Sure. It's not good for making friends, but it will help you keep track of the friends you already have. It's a great idea with no content. If they merged it with Livejournal, they'd really have something.

By itself, it's just another internet dating service. Knock yourself out.